Montag, 25. April 2011

About the Double Wedding Ring Quilt

This is going to be a very personal post again. I don´t even know yet, if it is not a bit to personal. But on the other hand I have the feeling, that it is the right thing to write about it.
When I first saw a Quilt with the Double Wedding Ring pattern, I loved it, an when I found out about the name of the pattern, I knew that I wanted to make one some day. And here is why:
I am a single women in my late thirties. I have been single most of my live. I didn´t choose this purposely. It just happened. Some difficult childhood, some heartbreaking, nothing special, I guess that is what happened to many of us. Some can handle this better, some worse.
I never was somebody who would say, "I am happy with beeing alone" or "I prefer to be alone". I was, and still am, sad about that, especially because I wanted to be a mother someday. As I am getting older the clock is ticking louder and this doesn´t help at all. I tend to feel ashamed of beeing single, because a part of me sees it as a failure not to "manage" to have a constant relationship. And this is why I think that it is important to write this post, because even if I feel ashamed, this women with all these feelings is still me. I deny this part of me so often, I play this tough girl role. I can come along with this better that way.
I´ve been going to the shrink for a long time and still do and I know that it helps me to get through trauma and to get along with live. But sometimes I think,"I have done so much, I tried a lot, I worked so hard, why is there no salvation finally".I am tired! I tried a lot of things from spiritual techniques over therapy to online dating...didn´t help...
But one thing I always had:
I try to visualize all my goals, my wishes and my dreams. I ask for things. And it worked for me in the most ranges. I wished for jobs, for a particular appartement, my shop and I even visualized and got my vintage motorscooter in the exact colour I wanted. It worked for mostly everything, but not for love. Maybe it is because I want it so much, and I think about it often.
When I started to make the Double Wedding Ring Quilt and while I worked on it, I always visualized how I and the man of my heart would sleep under it, how we would cuddle under it. I can see this picture so clearly and this is the little rest of me who still believes that someday it will happen, there will be this one who I can love and who will love me back. I promise I will tell you when that happens, maybe sooner as we all think, because the Quilt wants to be used!
( Now you know why I am not going to make the "single girl" Quilt, allthough I quite like the pattern, I would always see it as a bad sign...Seems like I am a bit supersticious).
So this is my very personal story about this Double Wedding Ring Quilt.
Thanks for reading,

13 Kommentare:

  1. miriam,
    your quilt is beautiful. may it be used and loved by you and one day by your prince charming as well. remember-- quilts last a long time, don't give up hope!
    thank you for sharing this part of you in this post.
    jess in new york

  2. the quilt is beautiful! It will make a wonderful story to tell your grandchildren :) Someone once told me 'you'll find love when you least expect it'. So true! Your prince charming is coming!

  3. i just found your blog through flickr and had to comment. thank you for your honesty, i think a lot of women are afraid to write what you have written.

    i wish you the best on your journey....whatever it may be...

  4. i also appreciate this post, very very much. the quilt is beautiful!

  5. Wieder ein Quilt mit Bedeutung, wie schön!
    Für einen großen Teil meines Lebens wusste ich auch nicht, ob ich jemals einen Mann oder eine Familie haben würde. Das ist ein unplanbares Puzzle. Selbst wenn ein Mann da ist, der auch bleiben will, heißt das ja noch nicht, dass er auch Vater sein will. Und sollte er auch Kinder wollen heißt das ja noch nicht, dass Kinder kommen. Und wenn sie kommen, heißt das nicht, dass nun alles gut wird. Nun lebe ich mein Leben mit Mann und Kind, aber ich glaube nicht, dass ich ohne all das unglücklich geworden wäre.
    In der Rückschau würde ich sagen: Begeisterung für eine Sache (z.B. Quilten) hat eine ähnliche Qualität wie Verliebt sein/ein Kind lieben. Das hört sich blöd an, aber wenn ich ich richtig in eine Sache stürze, dann füllt sie mich auch ohne familiäres Umfeld aus. Und gerade die Zeit mit einem Kind ist so eine kurze Zeit auf ein ganzes Leben gerechnet - da ist es doch gut, wenn man selbst noch genug vor hat (hört sich auch wieder blöd an).
    Naja, wie sagt man auf Englisch: Just my two cents. Sleep well under your beautiful Double Quilt!

  6. What a beautiful quilt, I hope that the process of creating it brings you closer to your wishes and brings much joy into your life.

  7. Thank you all for your lovely comments.
    Most of the time I am happy with the life I lead. Maybe it is still that I have to learn to be absolutely happy within me. I know that nobody can make that but myself. I try everyday, and I have the hope, that I will manage that someday.

  8. where did you get the pattern? Can I get it online?

  9. The Pattern was from the pickledish quiltalong

    Have fun!

  10. Dein Quilt ist atemberaubend schön!!!Dein Post dazu so ehrlich ,dass ich ich Gänsehaut kriege,weil ich mich freue,dass jemand mal "im Netz" nicht alles schönschreibt, und lügt,dass sich die Balken biegen...
    Darf ich auch ehrlich sein?
    Liebe kommt,wenn Du sie nicht suchst.
    Und aus eigener Erfahrung:Mann und Kinder erfüllen einen nicht auf Dauer - für das ganz persönliche Lebensglücksgefühl muss man selbst sorgen (klingt jetzt total platt,ist aber so) -und da hast Du doch mit dem Quilten und Deinem Laden schon die richtige Richtung eingeschlagen.
    Ach ja,und ich habe mir die Adresse von Deinem Laden schon für den nächsten Berlin-Besuch notiert ;))
    Liebe Grüsse Dodo
    Ps:Berlin ist nach wie vor "meine" Stadt(habe 10 Jahre in den verschiedensten Stadtteilen gelebt,und komme immer wieder gern zurück)

  11. I came across your blog after seeing the L-quilt on Flickr tonight. The story you share is poignant: I watched the (British) Royal Wedding today on TV. A majestic spectacle, centred around two fortunate people who found each other, somehow. I do admire and respect your honesty - for I have lived almost entirely alone as an adult. I have good family, but ‘Mr Right-for-me’ never materialised.

    The L-quilt’s simplicity and integrity make it an absolute winner. And as for the double-wedding-ring quilt above; it’s gorgeous! Keep it safe! Because you just don’t know...
    Thank you once again for sharing this with us.

  12. I think it's a great story and a stunning quilt! Don't forget, you don't have to have a man to have your baby... :) If that's important to you, MAKE IT HAPPEN!!
    Best of luck from Canada!

  13. Ein wunderschöner Quilt, und ein ganz besonders schöner Beitrag.
    Um ehrlich zu sein, ich überlege schon länger dieses Muster zu nähen, aber nicht nur die fehlende Zeit hat mich davon abgehalten... Da ich auch "unfreiwilliger Single" bin, dachte ich mir, dass dieses Muster vielleicht nicht zu mir passt. Deshalb gefällt mir Dein Gedanke unheimlich gut, und vielleicht nähe ich bald auch mal einen Double Wedding Ring :o)

    Liebe Grüße