Dienstag, 29. März 2011

The L-Quilt

It is finally done. The binding took me ages. But now it is finished and I really like it and I know my friend down under is going to love it.
The funny thing is this quilt was not ment to be for him in the first place. I started it for another reason.Long story, are you ready?

I once had a very good friend(lets call her L.). We´ve been friends since we were 13 years old. We did everything together. I think we were best friends for nearly 20 years. When I moved from Munich to Berlin our friendship still held, but as it is we didn´t see each other very often anymore and also the telefonecalls became less often. But we still were good friends and we missed eachother, I think. Then three years ago L stopped calling. And as I was in stress because of opening my shop and becoming a self employed fashion designer, I didn´t call also. But then, after a while I began to worry and called her, I asked her if she was mad, and she said yes a little and that she will call me the next days and we would talk.
Well that never heppened. I tried to reach her the next weeks, she didn´t reply my messages and calls and after a while there came one email in which she told me she doesn´t want to hear from me anymore, never ever.
She never explained to me what had happened, what I did wrong. After that I went through all feelings: Absolute anger, total sadness, and I couldn´t understand, that after such a long time she wouldn´t give me an explanation.
I am sure that I also did things wrong, but I believe that we always have to talk about things, even if the friendship is over afterwards, but leaving me without any explanation was horrible.
In the last years I always had the same dream about her and I couln´t let go. When I talked about her, or I looked at the pictures from the time we travelled together, went out together or did home facial masks together, I had to cry, in fact I still have to.
And i could not find a way to let go.
Then I read the story of Jennifer
I had the idea that making a goodbye quilt could be a possibility to come over it.
I started to make a L-Quilt in january. I had two jelly rolls of fabric which i bought in Munich when I visited another good friend.
I sewed them together, hated it, ripped everything of again and was angry (like in reality). Some minutes i sat in front of my sewing machine and was crying, because I didn´t know what to do (like in reality). Then I found the postage stamp quiltalong and started to use my jelly rolls for that. It was a perfect symbol, for what our friendship had always been, little pieces of good times and bad times, laughter and tears, love and hate.
And I always thought about what would I do with the quilt, when I am done? I thought about going to munich, giving it to her, try to explain, send it without letting her know that it was from me, keeping it to remind me the good times we had... But nothing seemed right. And then one morning I just felt clear, there was no anger, no worries, no saidness anymore. Just one little sentence: I miss L.
But as I know i can not do anything about it anymore. But you know what? I didn´t dream about her for a longer time now.
And the quilt? When I saw what it would look like, I knew that my friend Paul in Australia would absolutely love it. He never met L he has nothing to do with her, he is far away. Well I see it as a sign, that with sending it to him, making somebody very happy, i can finally let go all the feelings I had over L an our friendship. Make my peace with it.
I really hope that this will last.
So this is the story about the L-Quilt.
Thanks for reading.

7 Kommentare:

  1. Oh your story is both heartbreaking and heartlifting! Thank you for sharing it with the world... and the quilt is amazing. I hope that as you imagine the L-Quilt flying across the continent and ocean to your friend Paul that peace does indeed set you free.

  2. ja, eine sehr berührende Geschichte, die mich sehr berührt und mir wegen deines aktiven Umgangs mit der Wut und Trauer sehr gut gefällt. Was für eine wunderbare Idee, etwas mit einem Quilt auf diese Art gehen zu lassen..
    Danke dir dafür.

  3. wenn so enge freundschaften zerbrechen, tut es immer weh. schade, dass du und deine freundin nicht zusammen einen abschluss finden konntet - aber ich freue mich für dich (in ermangelung eines passenderen ausdrucks), dass du beim quilten das ganze für dich ein kleines bisschen verarbeiten konntest...und umso besser, dass der schöne quilt am ende noch jemanden glücklich machen wird.
    vg, julia

  4. I think your quilt is amazing - well done for finishing it, even though it reminds you of your friend. Paul is a lucky chap!

  5. Liebe Miriam. In meinem Leben gibt es auch eine L. Wir waren seit der ersten Klasse befreundet, haben zusammengehalten über Schule, Ausbildung, Beruf, Heirat, Kinder - und wie bei Dir - ohne eine Erklärung wurde der Kontakt abgebrochen. Sie wohnt jedoch in Berlin und ich bin ihr immer wieder über den Weg gelaufen, das war furchtbar. Auch ich träume noch immer von ihr. Als ich neulich von Tacha kam, fuhr ich auf dem Rückweg an ihrem Haus vorbei und sie stand vor der Tür. Ich wollte anhalten und Hallo sagen, fragen wie es ihr geht. Aber ich bin weiter gefahren, völlig ohne Groll. Seit dem ist es auch bei mir ruhiger. Deine Idee mit dem Quilt finde ich genial. Hätte ich davon früher gelesen, hätte ich es wahrscheinlich auch ausprobiert! Bis Sonntag, Gruss *Floh*

  6. I think that's a story familiar to everyone at one point or another, thank you for sharing it. I love the quilt, I love clever piecing but just recently I've been feeling a real pull towards simple squares in beautiful fabric. I hope your friend down under loves his quilt - just in time for their winter! I felt something similar when I made a lap quilt for my grandmother out of my grandfather's shirts after he passed away. It was a great way for grief to slowly turn into happy memories. Sometimes the quiltmaking is more important than the finished quilt :-) Beautiful job - as always!

  7. Such a wonderful post and sentiment. I had a situation exactly like this late last year and I just put it in a box. It might be time to take it out and pass a quilt on to someone else in the process :) Thank you. Lovely blog.